How do you do it? How are you doing? These are questions widow/widowers get a lot and it isn’t a short answer to give. It is impossible to sum it up into a few words on how we really feel and what we are going through.  You cannot survive the pain that some widow/widowers face and boil it down to a few words, so for those of you who really want to know…well here it is. .

Widow/Widowers still have waves of grief and an ache in our hearts after their love one has gone on. It could be 5 to 10 years later and some still may have a dullness in their hearts from all they have endured.  As time goes on, it does get better and the pain isn’t as severe as when we first heard of their departure.  Encouraging and supporting a widow/widower makes a difference in their life and the lives of their children.  I compare losing a spouse to losing a prize possession. It may be gone, but we still must move on with what we have and make the best of it.

I am a single widowed parent who lost my husband June 21, 2009 (Father’s Day).  We had a daughter Kayden whom was 2 at the time of his passing and now she is 9.  In my 6 years of being a widow, I am thankful for the support of my family & dedicated friends who truly understands me.  They may not can feel my pain but they can try to understand  what I have been through and what I still may go through on this journey called life. . My life in many ways has been shifted and some don’t try understand it and will never until they have experienced what I have. I come to realize that there was life before losing my husband and life after, so it’s up to me to make the best of it.

So how do I keep going? I get up everyday and keep in mind all I have versus what I have lost. If I focused on all that I have lost, my husband, our life , our future and all that our daughter (Kayden)  has lost…I would be a raggedy mess. I choose to show my daughter that life has its ups and downs, but at the end of the day it’s what you make of your life is up to you.   So I choose to focus on the blessings that I do have and to be a blessing to others.

I have come to realize how blessed I was. I had an amazing husband for eight years who stuck by me through my bouts of having seizures as I was a child, which continued into my adulthood. I had brain surgery February 2003 and he stuck with me through that and I was blessed to have him. I don’t know of any other who would have stuck by my side, caring, & loving me through it all. Now, I can say that because I had a love that not many people get to know in their lifetime.

As you move forward on your journey, now is the time to make the rest of your life, the best life possible.   Not only for you, but your love ones too. We must be thankful for the little things in life, no matter how small.  There are blessings everywhere you look, so appreciate all things and take nothing for granted.

Be Blessed & encouraged!


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